Trump v. Hillary: First Blood Part II

Source- Though the duo did not offer an outline for how Clinton will improve her dismal standing in the Midwest or move past the scandals that plagued her in 2016, they wrote that voters should “expect Hillary 4.0 to come out swinging,” relegating former Presidents Barack Obama and Bill Clinton to fundraising roles. “She has decisively to win those Iowa caucus-goers who have never warmed up to her. They will see her now as strong, partisan, left-leaning and all-Democrat — the one with the guts, experience and steely-eyed determination to defeat Mr. Trump.”

Disclaimer: I am writing this mostly because I am very angry that my upstairs neighbor's alarm has been going off for the past half hour. It sounds like a classic alarm, but it is violently vibrating the floor, which happens to be my ceiling. Not great, but if you think I'm gonna go confront someone over something I dislike, you have another thing coming. I am going to pour my anger into this blog.

Okay, down to business. Hillary Clinton v. Donald Trump round two sounds like a great idea, right? The most unlikable person in the US is planning to dethrone the second most unlikable person! What could go wrong! You know it's bad when her own people are calling her Hillary 4.0. Seems to me that Hillary 1.0, 2.0, and 3.0 didn't really do as well as they thought. Fug it, lets try again!

Seriously, why in the WORLD would Hillary choose to be berated every day for the next two years for a THIRD time? Is the presidency really worth it at that point? She's 71 years old. If she took office in January of 2021, she'd be 73. I cannot fathom wanting to work at that age. I get the whole "she's trying to make the US a better place" argument, but come on! Your time on the swing set is up, Hillary. Let another kid have a chance.

Trump is somewhere, maybe in Mariska Hargitay or whatever his golf course is called, smiling his damn ass off. Of course he's gonna win again! It's like the time I ran for seventh grade class president. I'm not sure who I ran against, but they had no chance because they were robots. I had the power of the people. Hillary just doesn't have that at this point. Things could change. I could win the lottery. The odds are about the same.

Imagine what the debates would be like if she got the Democratic nomination? It would be a free-for-all! Everything she wanted to say in 2016 would come up and it would be fantastic. She would say that he had an *allegedly* small peepee, thanks to insider info from Stormy Daniels. That would get me fired up. Maybe Trump would shoot back and say that her inability to be a good wife was the reason that Bill cheated on her with an intern. I don't know, I'm just spitballing here.

Finally, free passes for two politicians who hate each other to act like school children would be given. Move over, Handsome and Calm Beto O'Rourke Battling Blobfish Ted Cruz with Remarkable Patience, here comes two little girls who hate each other to the core.

I would probably pay money for the debate like it was a UFC fight (shoutout Khabib). I wouldn't doubt if one of them challenged the other to a duel, like Hamilton and Burr did! Give me all the recklessness, nothing would satisfy my appetite to see the world crumble more than this would.

Side note: who knows, in a few years, I might be a dark horse candidate for presidency. I noticed that Forbes did not name me to their "30 Under 30" list again this year, which is disappointing to say the least. Imagine the look on their smug faces when they announce I'm going to be the youngest president ever, at age 35. I guess being under 30 isn't all it's cracked up to be.