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The Plymouth Rock SUCKS

If you're from Massachusetts, you know that the Plymouth Rock is the biggest scam in the history of the United States. Bernie Madoff has nothing on this fake rock that no one cares about. Apparently, people travel across the US to see this stupid pebble. What a waste of time, money, and energy. This thing sucks ass and I'm sorry if you've ever seen it.
I have done nothing on this Saturday night other than drink my signature VodWod™ so I will be going in depth into this subject, whether you care about it or not. I also don't care if this doesn't make much sense. It is on my mind and I want it off as soon as possible.
My gripe with this rock was reignited after I found an old text from 2015 where I texted Cousin Russell this: 
"no theres know way of knowing. it was authenticated by a guy who was 92 in the latter half of the 1700s and wasnt even born when the mayflower got here. he just pointed it out and cried and was like yup thats it. 1. they would have never …

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