Debate Time! Winter or Summer?

Summer vs. Winter (credit University of Cambridge)

Okay, recently it has been hot as Satan's lair in Massachusetts so it got me thinking: what season is really the best? Spring and fall are obviously not up for debate because they are the best and I will hear no disagreeing opinions on that. Give me 65° over whatever we have going on here all day, every day. Guess what? That happens regularly in fall and spring so they are by default the best seasons. Moving on!

Disclaimer: I'm obviously not gonna get every good/bad part of each season so drop your suggestions in the comments.

The case for summer:

In my opinion, summer has one thing going for it that just can't be topped by any other season: comfortably hanging by the pool. Cookouts are arguably humanity's finest achievement and there is a reason that it doesn't happen in any other season. Baseball is usually on the TV while somebody mans the grill with a beer in their hand. In my house, this is my dad and it's always great chatting him up while he's cheffing something up on the grill or checking on the smoker.

Summer gives you a great glowing tan (or lobster-like redness, if you're Irish like myself) that makes you look better than when you are pale as a ghost in the winter months.

Summer nights often are mentioned in music for their ability to produce the best kind of night, and that's basically because you can actually go outside when the sun goes down and not get hypothermia. A big plus about summer is the outdoor concert venues, like the Xfinity Center. You can see your favorite band and hang outside with your friends which is preeeeetty great. If you're at home, it's usually warm enough to hang out in a bathing suit. But if it does get a little chilly, it doesn't suck to throw on a sweatshirt and sit by the fire. Beers all around!

The case against summer: 

I'm going to list these off because it's gonna be too long to explain every single one.

It's hot as literal Hell. There are bugs everywhere. EVERYWHERE. Pasty white people are at risk for melanoma every time they step out the door. There is no football on TV. The humidity makes you want to sit inside instead of passing out, so you really can't even enjoy the pool. Sweaty armpit stains ruin your tee shirts if you sit outside too long, no matter how much deodorant you put on. No A/C in your car? Have fun wishing you were dead. If you have no A/C in your house, you might as well move out. You don't get to see your friends from college anymore. Day drinking in the sun will kill a man if they don't hydrate properly. You feel the need to go outside and be productive with your life even if you are hungover or sick. The beach sucks because if you are lucky enough to not be eaten by sharks, you have to deal with sand being in every single crevice of your body. Your car is constantly sandy, no matter how many times you vacuum it.

Have we had enough of this yet? I have. Let's move on to winter.

The case for winter:

FOOTBALL IS ON TV! Sundays turn from one of the more depressing days of the week to the highlight of the week. Constant eating and drinking while watching Tom Brady methodically ruin the lives of everyone in the NFL never seems to get old. Fantasy sports tension is at an all time high, with shit-talking constantly blowing up group chats.

The first snowfall of the year is one of my favorite days. Everything seems so new and people are overcome with joy (even if it's for only about 12 hours). Snow days are the greatest thing Mother Nature can do for a kid in school, so that's a point for winter.

There are some sneaky warm days that get you so happy you would be okay with dropping dead on the spot. There is nothing like breaking out of a cold-snap with a 50 degree day in the middle of January. It's the little things!

Ummmmmm...CHRISTMAS!! I know not everyone celebrates this holiday but it still makes for a pretty great time of year. I love this time of year because there are a bunch of opportunities to see family and catch up. We have Christmas Eve at our house and it is without a doubt my favorite day of the year. Although, I must say, Christmas Day has been creeping up the list ever since I got the green light to join in on morning mimosas, but that's a story for anther day.

The case against winter:

Much like the case against summer, I'm just gonna rattle these off, because there's a lot of them.

Going outside? No thanks, I'll pass on that for about three months. No heat in your car? Have fun turning into Frosty the Snowman on your ride home from work. The nighttime begins at like 4 p.m. so the will to live turns into an abysmal 15%. Football games in the cold, wind, and rain are enough to deflate a man's spirits for at least two months. The WIND CHILL is maybe the worst thing that I have ever dealt with in my life. 20 degrees? Try negative a billion with the damn wind chill. Sometimes your car just doesn't start because it's too cold. Scraping ice and snow off your car adds another 20 minutes to your commute to work. Everyone is in a pissy mood because they are seasonally depressed. Losing power due to snow storms sets us back to the stone age. People freak out and buy everything at the grocery store when the weatherman says we're gonna get two inches of snow. No one knows how to drive when it snows, including when it's just a mild flurry. MUDDY SNOW! THE WORST!

FINAL DECISION:

It's winter. Winter is just way better. I don't even know why I wasted my time writing this because I would rather be cold than hot any day of the year. You can't fix being hot unless you go back inside to the A/C. You can fix being cold by dressing like a normal human and layering up. Also, football is such a big factor for me here. Football Sundays with Cousin Dan (and sometimes Grape Soda Mike), watching the Red Zone will just never get old.

Agree, disagree, don't care? Let me know!


ALSO: Buy a damn shirt, I have like four of them on sale now, fake ass fans. Support the cause!

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